photos

I look at a photo of my girls at work, and want to cry. Cry with overwhelming love for them, desiring to hug them right at this moment, and crying because I'm not with them. Because my baby is being raised by someone else, at daycare. Because I cannot afford to not work to give them a house to live in, and not even a big one at that. But I try to focus on seeing them again in just hours, to snuggle them and love them one more day, while they are still small. But I sure wish I could hug them right now.


#hopevali #contradictivehope #missmykids

push

I see You
Pushing my pain
And all I can hope
Is that it is for some gain.

Pushing me harder
Pushing me further
Pain breeds words
But could drive me insane.

Push and I write
Push and I fall
I wonder which one
Would make me stand tall.



#hopevali #contradictivehope #poetry #push #standtall

empty skies

Drowning deep inside
Smiling eyes hiding only lies
He sees all his misery
Never what she tries to be

His repeating promises
of “it’s just a phase”
Blind him to her packing
Done with all the bad days

And where does it end
When lost the passion lover
And barely left a friend
once so fiercely hovered

Tears dried, no longer cried
Love’s con, apathetic numb
Filling in and spilling over
Where anger had once won

Never noticed nor loved,
Yet her efforts undisguised.
So deny her goodbyes
Offer her no replies.
Until the void of her eyes
Leaves naught but empty skies

And grieving surprise.



#hopevali #contradictivehope #poetry #emptyskies