from Son of a Witch bt Gregory Maguire

Memory is not the past...

"Memory is part of the present. It builds us up inside; it knits our bones to our muscles and keeps our heart pumping. It is memory that reminds our bodies to work, and memory that reminds our spirits to work too: it keeps us who we are. It is the influence that keeps us from flying off into separate pieces."

no money. but big love & big dreams

In my worry over how to pay bills, a part of me just wants to shut down. But another part seems to be stepping up. A determination to fight. To win this battle life seems to think I can handle. I question that belief but I believe in life enough to know that I am probably wrong. I hope. I try to tell myself "this too shall pass" and that I am only becoming stronger because of this. That in this fighting I am learning. I cannot just let myself give up. I have the most amazing two year old who believes in me and tells me she loves me everyday. Having her in my corner is all I have sometimes, so I hold on, for her. For us.

I dream big. Times such as these start my mind racing... what can I sell on eBay? When can I return bottles for the redemption. I suppose in some deep metaphorical way, everything is about redemption. And in almost every way 'redemption' is used in the English language, redemption carries with it reward. I wait for ours. I just wonder how long that wait will be. Hopefully not long.

when it rains...

I get So tired of taking the high road. Of being the grown up. When from where I'm sitting, over here in this forgotten corner, I'm the only one who does, who is, or at least is trying. I know I'm not alone being stressed, in debt that drowns the mind, but a lot of days, I still feel alone. Am I?

So I started a blog. Not sure why, but after years of journals, poems, short stories... tears & achievements... Stupid thoughts... and everything in between, I guess a blog felt like the next natural progression, especially since now-a-days I find myself a total techo-junkie. So the majority of this blog will probably post from my phone...

I just feel... because my of my name... and because i love to write... maybe my random thoughts could make someone smile or feel normal or, heck, even find hope.

Testing.