tired.

I am tired.

I am tired of being treated differently because of my job title or salary range.

I am tired of people assuming I'm somehow an imbecile because they are so insecure that degrading another is the only way they know how to feel better about themselves.

I am tired of being expected to always be the bigger person, especially by people who are the total opposite, where, no matter how vicious their initial attack of me, I am not even allowed to reply, let alone lash back, or somehow I become the asshole and they are just the poor victim.

I am tired of working my ass off to barely make ends meet, when people who do jack shit get to have it all.

I am tired of being stressed out.

I am tired of demands that I act as Obama's life defender simply because I disagree with some of Romney's opinions or beliefs.

I am tired of people assuming they know all about me, especially when they don't actually listen to a word coming out of my mouth.

I am tired of finding silver linings for myself, let alone for everyone else.

I am tired of holding other people's luggage while they go pee, and just never come back.

I am tired of being the adult, and then being yelled at when the other adults want to do nothing but act like children, yet want all their own responsibilities taken care of magically or by me.

I am tired of double standards, inequalities and imbalance.

I am tired of hearing how everyone else knows better than everyone else and everyone else is just an idiot because they dare to disagree.

I am tired of people who are loving and kind getting screwed over by people who are manipulative and cruel.

I am tired of waiting for karma to make it worth it.

I am tired of waiting for the timeline to be long enough.

I am tired of "just breathe". I can't NOT breathe without dying, so maybe sometimes breathing is the actual problem, not the solution.

I am tired of trying to help, with the best of intentions, choosing my words so very carefully so that none feel attacked, only to be attacked in response, with words meant to cut & hurt, to be broken into pieces for no reason other than the fact that I tried to HELP and someone else didn't like that.

I am tired of my feelings & opinions mattering least of all.

I am tired of feeling alone, and knowing in my heart that I'm really not alone, but feeling it so deeply and exhaustingly that the logic behind it is drowned out by the tides.

I am tired of trying.

I am tired.




#hopevali #contradictivehope #iam #tired #poetry